You can still be free
by double-diva
Summary: Edd is home after 5 years, but he is hurt. Can his friends help him to put himself back together? OK, now there's some MAJOR slash. The rating may be a little harsh, but I wanna be safe.
1. Home Again

Home Again  
  
Edd stood at the edge of the cul-de-sac, he smiled, wondering if his friends would recognize him. It had been five years since he had been home, but his family's caseworker said it would be ok to come. He looked at his feet, his school uniform was still on, and it reminded him of that horrible boarding school. He started for his house, almost expecting Eddy to run up behind him and give him a scare.  
  
Edd stood at his door, and gently pressed the doorbell. "Edward, You're home" His mother chirped, and hugged him. This was a welcome feeling, until his mother looked at him. He would have loved to say hello, to tell her how much he missed her, but he hadn't talked since the "accident". He figured it was his big mouth that put him in this predicament, so he couldn't stand hearing his own voice anymore. "Why don't you tell your mother hello Edward, or has that boarding school rotted the manners outta ya?" Edd swallowed as his father stood over him; he closed his eyes as the tall man grabbed the black sock-hat from his head, letting the long black hair fall from Edd's head. "And ya still ain't got a hair cut" The tall man inspected the boy. The seventeen-year-old wore a clean white shirt, a black tie, black dress pants, and black shoes. His hair fell to his waist, and his almond-shaped brown eyes were starting to tear from fear-the last time his father had been this close, he nearly killed the small boy. "Your friends have been wonderin' where you were, but we didn't think you'd want them to know" Was the last thing the bulky man said before leaving the room. His mother followed his father, "Your room is just how you left it" all Edd could do was smile to her.  
  
He sat on his bed, looking at his room. It was just how he left it, as if it was untouched by time. The small room was clattered by test tubes, schematics, blue prints, books, all neatly organized, and a neatly made bed. Even Jim was in the same condition as when he left. His room reminded him of his friends, and of how they betrayed him. He could remember that day, the day of the "accident". He had walked out of his house, or more so stumbled, to meet his friends. They immediately noticed something wrong, and upon inspection, realized he was beaten and bruised. They managed to coax the truth of his abusive parents, and he made them promise not to tell anyone.  
  
He smirked, realizing now that a promise meant nothing. The cops showed up at his house that night to take him away. That was the last straw. He only had two people he could truly trust, and they turned their backs on him. Ever since that very moment, he retreated into himself. He was his only friend, now he saw that. Tears stung his eyes, it was kind of refreshing to know that he could still cry, that he still had a heart.  
  
He thought quietly to himself, the sounds of the kids playing in the cul-de- sac, the sounds he hadn't heard in so long.  
  
"Hey Double D, are you in there", the sound of Eddy's voice seemed so real, quickly followed by the sound of a slamming door. "Double D" a voice gently quivered, it sounded so much like Eddy. Edd sat up in his bed, just as his bedroom door opened. Eddy and Ed timidly walked through the door. He could feel his heart split in two, one half glad to see his friends and the other sad at the knowledge that there was no such thing as friendship. "Double D's been eating his roughage" Ed pointed at the still hatless Edd, causing him to hide under his covers.  
  
"You must feel weird finally being home, just come out when you're ready" Eddy said, in an amazingly sympathetic voice as he lead Ed out of the room. 


	2. Broken Wings

Broken Wings  
  
One day passed, then two, then three, and still Edd stayed in his room. He didn't think he was strong enough to face the outside world, the world he had been shut off from so long ago. He was so helpless, he felt like a bird with broken wings. Birds again, he had just started the bird metaphors before he left, and he could hear himself talking in his head. Giving advice, talking, helping; those are the things he missed most, just human interaction. But who would want his counseling, they probably only ever listened to him out of pity to begin with anyway; a brain, that's all he was and all he'd ever be.  
  
Edd could feel tears stinging his eyes again, but he refused to let them fall. He promised himself he'd never cry for his own pity again, and his was the only word he could still trust. If he lost that trust, he would lose everything. He curled up, holding his legs tight to his chest with his arms. He still didn't have his hat, and he was starting to feel lonely-that hat was the only company he willingly kept anymore.  
  
"Edward," his mothers voice had a harsh hateful sound again, "You have company". Edd started to get up to lock the door, he didn't want anyone to see him like this. "Edd," the sympathetic voice moved him almost to tears as he sat back down, "Your mom told me about everything. Can't say I blame ya for not talkin', I did kinda break that promise." Eddy pulled a chair in front of Edd and sat down. In the chair he was eye level with the sitting Edd, despite his still short stature. "Please just say something Double D. If no one knows what's wrong, no one can help." The wise advice seemed out- of-place coming from the normally cynical Eddy. Edd looked at the ground, the tears stung his eyes again and this time he couldn't keep them hidden. "Edd, whatever you think is wrong, we can fix it, I'll help" that was it, he couldn't take it anymore, he jumped from his bed and toward the door, but Eddy caught him in mid-dash. Eddy held him firmly by the shoulders, and Edd's struggling to get free proved in vain until a sharp turn made the chair slip out from under Eddy's feet, and Eddy landed on the ground. Edd couldn't stand it, he kneeled on the ground to help his friend up. "Please don't run Double D" Eddy said, teary eyed. Something was so different about him, so caring and loving. Eddy noticed a notebook on Edd's desk and picked it up, "Still like the bird meta...um," Eddy raised an eyebrow at Edd, who was now sitting on the bed again, but he didn't answer. "Well here's something," he ran his finger over a picture Edd had drawn of a bird "Broken wings," He read the writing under the picture, "Is this how you feel Double D?" Eddy's eyebrow raised again, this time to a nodding Edd, "You know, a broken wing won't heal itself" Eddy said, his voice shaking. Eddy obviously wasn't good at this type of thing, and his eyes were starting to tear, and he was blushing. Edd looked at the ground, he couldn't stand to see Eddy like this. Eddy gently ran the back of his hand over his friend's cheek, and moved his hair out of his face. 


	3. If Time Will Set You Free

If time will set you free  
  
  
  
Eddy cupped his hand around Edd's chin, and pulled his face so that their eyes met. "You can't live in the past Double D, if I let every time I worried about you rule my life, I would have offed myself years ago." This strange bit of advice made Edd feel guilty, he had been living in pity for so long, and he had never even thought of how much this hurt his friends. "You w-worried about me?" Edd was surprised at his own voice- it had grown deep, and as frail as his body. Eddy's eyes lit up as he heard Edd's voice, "Of course, you are my best friend. What did you think?"-His voice still hadn't gained its normal attitude.  
  
"I suppose you just got rid of me so readily, that I assumed…" Edd's voice trailed off as he tried to look at the floor, but Eddy's hand held him up.  
  
"Double D, calling the cops was the hardest thing I ever did" Now Eddy's eyes were starting to tear, but he held his stare at Edd. Edd was at a loss for words, all he could do was think of what his friend was saying. He had been wrong for so long, living in hate for himself, feeling worthless because even his friends didn't want him around. "I am worthless" Edd whispered, not even realizing he had said it aloud. Eddy gave him a harsh look, almost scolding him with his eyes. "Never say that" Eddy said, he was so close to Edd's face their noses were almost touching.  
  
Eddy leaned his head to one side, and slowly moved closer to Edd's face. Edd knew what was about to happen, or at least he was pretty sure, but he couldn't move. He felt Eddy's lips touch his, caressing them. Eddy broke the kiss, but Edd just stayed in one spot, afraid to move. "I've always thought you were the best, I normally wouldn't of told you, but it sounded like you needed to hear it." Edd had just begun to relax, when Eddy tilted his head again. Their lips touched, but Edd was a little more at ease this time. Edd felt Eddy's tongue gently split his lips, and move into his mouth. Eddy's tongue massaged his, feeling the inside of his mouth. Edd's own tongue responded, half massaging just as Eddy's had, half trying to force the foreign tongue out of his mouth. Edd had never felt like this before, it felt like an explosion inside him. He could feel every nerve in his body reacting to Eddy's touch, every movement causing a new reaction.  
  
Eddy reluctantly broke the kiss again, and stood up. "See ya later Double D", he walked out of the door. Edd turned to the window he was sitting in front of, and watched Eddy walk home. Then his eye's fixed on his father standing in the front yard, and his mind fixed on a nightmarish thought. "What if father saw us?" Edd gasped. Logically it was very possible that his father had seen them, but what would he do if he had?  
  
Edd's thoughts raged as he saw his father hastily run toward the door. He could hear the stomping feet coming up the stairs, and he saw doorknob slowly turn as the door swung open. "What was that about boy? You gone 'weird' on us" the tall, bulky man looked at the boy with disgust. Those were the kindest words he would say, as he banned Edd from ever going outside, or associating with anyone ever again.  
  
Edd stared at the blank ,empty wall, thinking of the advice Eddy had given to him. Time had finally set him free, but he was still held back. 


	4. The Purest Light

The Purest Light  
  
Edd's heart jumped to his throat as he heard his father leave in his old red truck only about an hour later. This was his chance, and it would probably be his last chance so he hurried. The neat-freak part of his brain had shut off sometime in the afternoon, and his shirts and pants hit an old duffel bag in piles. A wrinkled mass of red and blue, and a single pair of black pants and a single white shirt settled in the bag as Edd's eyes darted toward the door and he ran, barely remembering to grab the unzipped bag as he left.  
  
Down a flight of stairs, past walls littered with sticky notes, and finally out of the front door. Freedom, he had finally found freedom. But what now? He hadn't thought of that, but he knew there was one person he could still count on. His feet led him, slower now- as if he were trying to remember his way around. He didn't have to think about how to get to Eddy's house; it seemed to be programmed in past his conscious mind, in his heart. As he walked along the fence through his friend's front yard he noticed two things- the motorcycle in Kevin's front yard and the absence of Eddy's parents' car.  
  
Edd's hand reached toward the doorbell, but paused just short of its goal. What if Eddy didn't want him there? Would his friend, maybe his soulmate turn him away? His finger pressed the small red doorbell, and his heart stopped. Nothing had ever seemed so hard to him, but a he smiled anyway as the door opened.  
  
"What the hec…Oh, hi Double D" Eddy answered the bell's cry. Edd looked at him, he seemed untouched by time other than his now longer dark brown hair. "Come in" Eddy led the winded Edd through the somewhat different house, into thew room he recognized as Eddy's parents' room. The largest room in the house, other than the kitchen or living room, was now a mess. In the center of the room was a round waterbed, much larger then the bed that Edd had remembered. Eddy maneuvered Edd so that the frail boy sat on the bed as his eyes surveyed the room. From where he sat on the bed, which was barely indented by the small boy, he could see a large picture of himself on Eddy's wall.  
  
The bed indented as Eddy sat down next to Edd, and gently stroked the jet- black hair that fell around him.  
  
"Edd, I saw the bag. You can stay here as long as you want." Eddy cooed to him, his hand cradling Edd's face. Edd turned to meet Eddy's gaze, he hadn't really realized he had dropped the bag, all he knew was that Eddy was so close that they could feel each others' hearts beat. Eddy leaned in, and gently pressed his lips against Edd's.  
  
This time the feeling wasn't so strange, more comforting than anything. Edd darted his tongue to lick Eddy's lips, running it over the soft flesh of Eddy's upper lip, then the bottom one, then running it along the crack in between the two. Eddy got the hint and his tongue darted out to meet Edd's. At first their tongues massaged each other, then they traced along each other, and then finally they left each other to explore the other's mouth.  
  
The tenderness of the moment brought tears to Edd's eyes, and a soft soundless moan escaped his mouth as  
  
Eddy broke the kiss. Edd's eyes were squeezed shut from the pleasure the intimate kiss had brought him, and he kept them closed in hope of the feeling staying with him. But the comfort of this moment was soon broken by a new feeling, the feeling of Eddy's lips on his skin.  
  
Eddy lay wide open mouthed kisses on Edd's cheeks, bringing a light blush to the younger boy's cheeks. He kissed the blush, and slowly moved the attention down Edd's neck, gently nibbling his skin- not hard enough to register pain, but enough to register.  
  
Edd's eyes sprang open as Eddy's mouth landed on the base of his neck, and his fingers fidgeted at the bottom of his shirt.  
  
"Eh-Eddy" Edd stuttered with a moan, "Please". He pushed Eddy to a sitting position, an embarrassed look on his face. "I, um, well…I don't think I'm ready". Edd looked in Eddy's frustrated eyes as he spoke, and guilt stirred some butterflies in his stomach.  
  
"Not Ready?!" Eddy half-asked, half-screamed- causing Edd to jump back a little. "What are you worried about! Not like you can get preg…" Eddy dropped the subject as Edd's eyes started to tear.  
  
"I'm sorry Eddy", Edd's voice came in a whisper now, and his arms held his knees to his chest.  
  
"It's ok, don't worry about it Double D" Eddy stroked Edd's face with the back of his hand, and moved his hair from his face. "Just lay down. I'll be back soon, but you look like you need to rest." With those words Eddy opened a window in the wall to let in some fresh air and then walked out of the room. 


End file.
